Revision Guidelines
by: Professor Sharon Delmendo
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Guidelines:
Revisions must demonstrate substantive improvement to the focus, support, approach, and/or organization of the essay in addition to comprehensive editing.
To demonstrate substantive change, you must:
- Edit the entire paper thoroughly. That means fix grammar mistakes, typos, punctuation problems, awkward phrasing, pages references/citations, etc.
- Make concrete improvements to problems I pointed out both in my marginal comments and my end-of-paper comments, including:
- Expand your analysis-- push it further and deeper
- Add specific examples/details from the source texts appropriate to your topic
- Improve the flow/organization, both within and between paragraphs
- Go beyond my suggestions! What can you think of to improve the overall quality of this essay? Keep in mind that your thinking evolves as time goes by; looking back at something you have written, you may find you have new ideas, new perspectives, something you learned about the topic since your last version of this paper.
Changing typos and making a few small changes (a word/phrase here and there) does not constitute revision. Revision means tearing the paper apart and putting it back together again as a stronger, more clear argument with evidence from the text (or from experience) to support your interpretive points.
You will probably dump large sections or whole pages, add new paragraphs, re-write the introduction and/or conclusion, do serious reorganization, etc. You will probably need to go back to the text to find additional evidence (quotes, examples) to flesh out your argument.
If all you do is clean up typos and move a phrase or two around, you have not revised your paper: you have only proofread it. Revisions mean improving the paper's over-all analytic substance and structure.
Revision Format:
Here is a summary of the revision procedures:
- Papers will be submitted in Microsoft Word format (.doc file type).
- The professor will add comments in italics and brackets: {comment}.
- Do not change the margins, font, or type from the original essay.
- If you take something out or change its order, indicate the alteration with squiggly brackets-- e.g. {Deleted old paragraph} or {moved this paragraph from pg. 1}.
- The student will underline spelling and grammar corrections, words or phrase only: spelling or grammar.
- The student will underline the thesis statement, typically a single sentence: Throughout the novel Beadecker portrays Vietnam veterans as psychologically damaged which is emblematic of the damage that the war caused to the Nation.
- The student will highlight content changes from the original draft, preferably in Microsoft Word, which may be anything from a few words up to sentences or paragraphs.
- Students will submit revisions with the professor's colored comment strip attached at the back.
In order to call attention to your revisions, you must highlight the content changes you make to your paper-- literally. Do not change the margins, font, or type from the original essay.
Highlight all COMPLETELY NEW material, either on the computer (there is a highlight icon on the toolbar in Word for Windows) or manually with a highlighter pen. If you reword a sentence/phrase but don't change its basic substance (i.e., you are fixing grammar mistakes, awkward or confusing phrasing, or typos), underline it but DON'T highlight it.
If you take something out or change its order (for instance, pasting a paragraph to pg. 2 when it originally appeared on pg. 1), indicate the alteration with squiggly brackets-- e.g. {Deleted old paragraph} or {moved this paragraph from pg. 1}.
(Note: you can highlight on the computer even if you are using a black ink print cartridge; in that case, the portions you highlight will come out tinted gray, which is fine.) The point is that both you and I will be able to see exactly what changes you have made in your revision.
Turn in the original paper, with my colored comment strip attached at the back, with your revision.
I will not accept revisions that do not follow these guidelines.
Sample Revisions:
Original Paragraph
In the movie Higher Learning by John Singleton, a major theme is created through "brotherhood." Throughout the movie, they show one of the skinheads that has a tattoo across his chest that reads, "Solid Brotherhood."
Singleton also shows a black students' dorm room with a flag hanging on the wall with a black fist on it. This statement is supposed to stand for "black power." Throughout the movie, Singleton focuses on two girls, Kristen and Deja, to show their struggle to "fit in" in a certain group.
Throughout this movie Singleton portrays "brotherhood" in a negative way, yet he portrays "sisterhood" in a positive way. {Note: Apostrophe Errors?}
Revised Paragraph
In the movie Higher Learning by John Singleton, a major theme is created through "brotherhood." From the beginning to the end of the movie, Singleton shows the struggle between two different groups.
He shows how their concept's of "brotherhood" (and "sisterhood") not only hinders their growth as people, but also hinders their social development.
Throughout this movie Singleton portrays "brotherhood" in a negative way, yet he portrays "sisterhood" in a positive way.
Original Thesis
Note: the entire thesis statement, typically one sentence, should be underlined. Do not confuse this underlining with the underlining of a word due to misspelling, etc.
The movie Higher Learning uses racial conflicts and the interaction between the whites and the black to prove that "Without struggle there is no progress."
Revised Thesis
The movie Higher Learning used Fredrick Douglass's quote "Without struggle there is no progress" to prove that whites and blacks must endure conflicts if they wish to advance in society.
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